Too loud, too shrill and too coarse

Too loud, too shrill and too coarse

Teacher and cabaret artist christine eixenberger must know how the bavarian education system works. Your program "learning load" gives a deep insight into the mental lives of schoolchildren, parents and teachers.

Christine eixenberger grew up in schliersee. After training as a legal assistant and a few semesters of law, she studied to become a teacher for elementary schools, which she completed in 2015 with the state examination.

"Basti" is one of her proteges, whose name appears several times in the program. Basti comes from a farm, his brother is a butcher (hence the huge amount of sausage on his sandwich). His mother sometimes brings the colleagues coarse touts with sausage before handing out their report cards. Even the SUV-driving mothers who show up in convoys after school to pick up their offspring from school come under the cabaret artist’s scrutiny. "A military parade on the red square in moscow is shit compared to this", is the verdict of the primary school teacher.

Even the manners get their fat off. "They’re nice, but they’re really dumb, says the cabaret artist, who, following a friend, no longer calls her partner by his name, but by the term "thing" provides. That the wild boars run in front of her car during the mating season is the "thing" the best example, eixenberger complains to her partner, who sits at home and makes no effort to get her and her car out of the ditch.

The "thing she just wanted to know whether she would be coming home this night or not. It was already the third run-in with a wild boar. She spends the time until she gets help with one piccolo after the other. Annoyed by her brother, who rides his bike through australia, she wants to get on a plane and fly to the next teutonic grill. But this plan already fails on the journey with the bayerische oberlandbahn. In the compartment sits a rumbling pack of mallorca vacationers, who steal her last nerve until she screams: "shut up, or i’ll go to the principal", the conductor was meant, of course, but he wasn’t much help either.

Full corps deployment

Christine eixenberger brings her abstruse stories to the stage with full body effort. With her tongue in the hollow of her left mouth, her upper body stretched out in front of her, and both arms akimbo like a sumo wrestler, she does not make a very edifying picture.

On the other hand, the audience in lichtenfels (including some teachers) learns a lot about her stay in a wellness hotel, where she has fled from her stressful school day. But even here she is not happy. This is not least due to the ladies disfigured by cosmetic surgery and the helicopter parents who are also to be found here. "Really, children were something nice, only without parents", assures the primary school teacher.

Between meditation, singing bowls and mud treatment, she comes to the conclusion that boredom is the best remedy for stress. Christine eixenberger advises her listeners to try it out for themselves "take yourselves back to your school days".

Christine eixenberger is sometimes too loud, too shrill and too coarse. Even her punchlines are sometimes habit-forming. And whether the pick-up line in the broadest bavarian dialect "du, ich hab in mei bett scheiben, darf ich bei dir ubernachten?" in a lichtenfelser pub was working, may also be doubted.

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